


Bro Yes I Would Love To Marry You (this isn't it)

by sharlatan



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Prompt, not actually that explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:49:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharlatan/pseuds/sharlatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: Nico walks in on some really kinky thing between Jason and Percy and his eyes cannot unsee how perverted his friends are. (Take that where you want, lol)<br/>It's funny, it's sweet, it's agonizing. They worked like a well oiled machine. Like a very, very, well oiled machine. <br/>----------------<br/>“Bro,” said Jason, “is it gay if we gave each other blowjobs?”</p>
<p>Percy thought about it. “Nah, I think if two straight guys give it to each other it’s not a blowjob it’s like, a brojob.”</p>
<p>(maybe bro will be their always)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bro Yes I Would Love To Marry You (this isn't it)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CarleeAdison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarleeAdison/gifts).



> so i started writing this as a funny crack fic, then i veered off into the serious side, then went back to crack, then it became serious for a while, then crack again. i guess what i'm saying is that im hoping that the hilarious parts are well paced, let me know what you think in the comments!   
> you can find me at holycaribous.tumblr.com

It starts like this: Jason and Percy were sitting on top of cabin 3, gazing at the stars together in an extremely heterosexual way.

“Bro,” said Jason, “is it gay if we gave each other blowjobs?”

Percy thought about it. “Nah, I think if two straight guys give it to each other it’s not a blowjob it’s like, a brojob.”

They looked at each other.

“Bro?”

“Bro.”

(maybe bro will be their always) 

It starts like this: Annabeth kisses Percy goodbye, because they are friends and they will always be friends and maybe one day they will be lovers again, that day is shining solid in the future but right now, right now in the present, she kisses him goodbye and he kisses her good luck. 

It starts like this: They fight all the time, but not with weapons. Now, when Jason and Percy fight, they wrestle each other on the ground, near the beach, in the forest, on top of their roofs. They take their shirts off and claim that it’s way too hot, that you can’t expect them to do well when it’s so hot, of course they have to take a shirt off. Jason pins Percy down and Percy wraps his legs around Jason’s waist and holds him there in a jujutsu position. Jason gulps and a bead of sweat glides smoothly down his forehead to his nose to drip onto Percy’s lips. Percy licks it. 

It starts like this: Jason doesn’t know what comes over him but he does knows that he comes whenever he thinks about Percy between the sheets.

It starts like this: Jason kisses Percy one hot summer day under the shining sun and glistening trees. The leaves whisper scandal but they were too immersed in each other to notice. Percy had lips red like coral when Jason nipped at them, and the smell of the sea enveloped them both in the middle of the forest. 

“Bro, Jason, this is kind of-” he gasped when Jason moves down to his neck. “F-fuck.”

“Kind of what, bro?” Jason grins up at him, pinning him to a tree.

Percy heaved a breath and leaned his head against Jason’s shoulder. “At least take me out to dinner first.” 

It starts like this: Demigods generally don’t bother with federal age restrictions. Live fast, die young, that’s their motto. Well, it’s not actually their motto, but if they were going to die young via monster attacks anyway then hey, why not carpe diem and live as fast as they could before the nightmares catch up and the heroes find out that in the end, they could never win?

Anyway, that was the reason Jason gave himself when he bought the vibrator, the cockring, and a number of other items with a fake ID. He had to do this immediately, too, because Percy will be turning 18 soon and then it’s a year of abstinence before he can legally fuck Percy into ground again. Demigods generally don’t bother with federal age restrictions, but since there isn’t an oncoming war he can’t see Percy agreeing to have sex with a minor when he does turn 18. 

It starts like this: Nico was returning to Camp Half Blood after curfew from visiting Hazel in California, when he heard strange noises from Cabin 3. It sounded like someone was crying. It sounded like Percy was crying and begging. He took off immediately, and was about to fling open the door when his common sense took over and he decided to listen for more information. 

“P-please-agh-no more no more oh god please don’t do this to me-” Percy seemed to be choking. 

That was enough for him. He flung the door open with his Stygian Iron sword ready and-

OHSHITWHATTEHFUCKWHATSHITFUCKBLEACHHENEEDSFUCKINGBLEACHOHGODNONONONONONONO

“Dorito Chips Code REd Your FAther!” Percy screams, “Oh my gods JASON COVER ME QUICK!” 

Jason immediately moved to throw a blanket over Percy, but he tripped on the vibrator control and fell in a long dramatic arc over the poor guy, landing with his face near Percy’s crotch. The accident switched the settings from “medium” to “high as fuck” and Jason resolved to make sure that Percy eats more pineapples in the future.

“Bro. Seriously?” He wiped a hand across his face and grimaced, then turned bright red when he noticed that Nico was still standing there in shock. 

“Nico?” 

No answer.

“Percy, I think we broke Nico.”

“You think?” was the sarcastic answer. 

“That’s what I said.” 

Nico jerked. “Y-you-” he stopped. Turned around, and walked off into the shadows. He’s going back to California to find the strongest brain bleach there is and maybe take a dip in the Lethe. 

“Bro, can you untie me and turn that damn thing off?” 

“Sure, bro.”


End file.
